WHERE CHATTERS GO TO TALK ABOUT OFF TOPIC STUFF!
KICKOFF SHOW:
Big E vs. Baron Corbin (Kickoff Match) So, the WWE has tried to paint Baron Corbin as being poverty stricken because someone stole his wallet or some shit over a month ago. Yet, he keeps having matches...does the WWE really want the fans to think WWE wrestlers are paid poorly? Because that's the message they are sending...anyway, for some reason, Baron Corbin stole Big E's Money in the Bank briefcase on Smackdown, as if that somehow transferred the win to him, and would allow him to cash in...stupid idea, but it set up the match...not much really to talk about, other than Big E gets the win, fueling speculation that at one of these PPVs, he is going to cash in MITB and become either the WWE Champ or Universal Champ. Honestly, I expected him to do it at Summerslam, but he didn't... Grade: B- Raw Tag Team Championship -- AJ Styles & Omos (c) vs. RK-Bro The first match of the PPV itself. RK-Bro not only get the win, but they pick up the tag titles as well. Match was decent enough to get the crowd going, but it wasn't an all-time classic, either. Grade: B Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie Let's be honest here...this match served only one purpose: to let Piper Niven/Doudrop get her break from Eva Marie. It wasn't the total squash match I had predicted, but Alexa had to do everything she could to make Eva Marie look remotely competent. It's a shame, because Eva Marie has absolutely no business being employed by the WWE, let along taking a PPV spot from an actual wrestler. Only reason she's there is because Vince McMahon likes her tits. That's it. She's got a smoking hot body, with absolutely ZERO talent to match. Grade: D. The match itself is probably really a C or a C+, but fuck Eva Marie (figuratively). Match gets downgraded just because she was involved. United States Championship -- Sheamus (c) vs. Damian Priest Ok, now we are talking! A technical masterpiece, this was not, lol. Two big guys were just out there kicking each other's asses. It was wonderful. Maybe I was just in a good mood, because in reflection, this match probably wasn't as good as I think it was, but honestly? I don't care. I enjoyed it. I don't really care about either of these two wrestlers, but it was just a fun, entertaining match. Damian Priest gets the win the US title. Grade: B for the match itself, A- for just how entertained I was anyway. SmackDown Tag Team Championship -- The Usos (c) vs. The Mysterios Well, my coin flip didn't pan out here. The Usos retained their belts, but during this match, something became really obvious. Rey was carrying the load for his son. Dominic simply isn't ready yet. They rushed him through, when honestly? He could have used a bit of time in NXT, even masked, without giving away his identity, because he just isn't as naturally gifted as his father is in the ring. Dominic is 24 years old. Two years OLDER than Rey was when he started in WCW, and isn't nearly as polished as his dad was. This match was really the Usos vs. Rey Mysterio, with a little interference from Dominic every now and then to give Rey a tiny breather. Dominic Mysterio needs more training. Period. Rey did a marvelous job in what was essentially a handicap match though. Grade: Usos: A, Rey: A-, Dominic: D. SmackDown Women's Championship -- Bianca Belair (c) vs. Sasha Banks This is when things started to get a little bonkers. In what MUST have been inspired by the Intercontinental Title match at the first ever Summerslam, the WWE announces that Sasha Banks was unable to compete against Bianca Belair...out comes Carmella as Banks replacement for the match...she makes it to the ring, and the match is gonna be Bianca Belair vs. Carmella...goody...then, HOLY SHIT. NO WAY! THAT'S BECKY LYNCH'S MUSIC!!!!!! Becky Lynch gets to the ring, kindly tosses Carmella the hell out, and lays down a challenge to Belair for a title match, right there and then. Bianca agrees...30 seconds later, Becky Lynch is standing there, holding up the Smackdown Women's Championship. Match itself was garbage, It was literally a missed Bianca kick, a Becky Lynch slam, pin, done. However, Not only did it serve to bring Lynch back, which oddly enough, NOBODY had predicted, despite months of "Is this the PPV Becky comes back at?" this summer, But it was a clear homage to the Honky Tonk Man and Ultimate Warrior match from the first Summerslam. Lots of people loved Becky's return, some are mad that they didn't at least have a real match, that it ended too quickly, and was unfair for Bianca to have to give the belt up in a total squash...Don't care. It was awesome seeing the Irish Lasskicker back in the ring. Grade: Match: F. Overall experience: B+ Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal Not the total squash match I predicted, but pretty close. Jinder at least got a little offense in before McIntyre killed him... Grade: C- Raw Women's Championship -- Nikki A.S.H. (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley This match was a lot better than it looked on paper. All three women got in numerous high spots, lots of offense. Charlotte Flair adds another title to her collection, but that isn't what is really important about this match...the WWE did a very good job booking this, so that despite Charlotte getting yet another title, it didn't make either Nikki or Rhea Ripley look weaker to do it. This match was booked as 3 equals, where simply one of them had to win, and it just happened to be Charlotte Flair...It's not very often that you can somehow make a champion look stronger by having them lose their title, but they may have gotten away with doing just that when it comes to Nikki Cross/ASH. Grade: A Edge vs. Seth Rollins Ok...I don't know how much longer Edge can keep doing this...but you know that saying, "I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm a good, once, as I ever was"? That was Edge in this match. Edge and Rollins put on a freaking show. The women's title match that had just preceded it was easily the match of the night...for a brief moment in time, kind of like how U2 owned Live Aid...for an hour, and then Queen took the stage...it was kind of like that. Edge and Rollins put on an instant classic. 20 years from now, when people remember Summerslam 2021, this match is going to be at the top of everyone's list. If you have Peacock Network, Summerslam was worth watching just for this freaking match. Grade: A+ WWE Championship -- Bobby Lashley (c) vs. Goldberg Bobby Lashley retains. That's all you need to know about this worthless match. Ref ended up stopping the match after Goldberg injured his leg, so...expect a possible rematch nobody was asking for, as technically, Goldberg didn't get "beat". Grade: D Universal Championship -- Roman Reigns (c) vs. John Cena This match was a lot better than it had any right to be. For being gone so long, John Cena absolutely brought it...to the point while watching it, I was actually doubting my prediction that Reigns would retain. This match was the main event, and they put on a show too. It wasn't quite as good as Edge/Rollins was, but dammit, John Cena and Roman Reigns went to war. Very entertaining match for both of them. Roman Reigns does end up defending his title, but nobody can say that their match didn't deserve to be the main event...they earned it. Grade: A BUT, we aren't done yet! No sooner did this match conclude, when who should come out, but BROCK FREAKING LESNAR to stare Reigns down! Looks like Lesnar enjoyed his Summer vacation, and is back for at least a little while, as long as Vince pays him... Let me say this: This show was a bit unpredictable at times. It had its high moments, it had some lows, but overall? I had a damn good time watching. WWE PPVs have been rather lackluster during COVID, feeling like they were just going through the motions...but this Saturday's Summerslam actually felt like...SUMMERSLAM. It felt big, like it was back to being one of the WWE's big four, along with the Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, and of course, Wrestlemania. Despite the bullshit with Goldberg and Eva Marie, overall, the highs easily outweighed the lows, so I'd give Summerslam 2021 a grade of A-. I think I would have had the Lashley-Goldberg match a little earlier on the card, like before the Raw Women's title match, but other than that, the 2nd half of this PPV was some of the best non-NXT wrestling the WWE has put on in a long time. 3 of the last 4 matches got an A or an A+ from me. On a side note, since I didn't do a predictions thread for NXT-Takeover, if that was Adam Cole's last match in the WWE, Vince McMahon is an idiot for letting him go. He wants superstars? Adam Cole is this generation's Shawn Michaels. The guy is A SUPERSTAR just waiting for his chance on the main roster. One of the best wrestlers in WWE already, and has charisma up the wazoo. He is a once in a generation type talent. If the WWE lets him go, they are stupid.
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February 2021
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